First Summer Sober? Here’s How To Navigate the Holidays Booze-Free

Most of us are familiar with the feeling of waking up in the morning after a few too many drinks. A sore head, upset stomach, and flashbacks of questionable dance moves are the hallmarks of a hangover. A growing number of people are finding that the fun no longer outweighs the aftermath.

For some, quitting alcohol altogether is the best choice for their health and well-being. Others embrace the ‘sober curious’ movement, which offers a chance to experiment with how they interact with alcohol, without going cold turkey. This growing wave sees people reevaluating their relationship with substances, examining the role alcohol plays in their life and how it impacts both body and mind, without necessarily committing to complete abstinence.

While most Australians and New Zealanders still drink alcohol, an emerging shift towards cutting back is clear. Numbers reveal that in 2023, non-alcoholic beer accounted for 10% of total beer sales, and non-alcoholic wine experienced a significant rise, with sales increasing by 15%, according to Wine Australia.

There has also been a noticeable decrease in alcohol consumption among younger Australians, particularly in the 18-24 age group. The 2022 National Drug Strategy Household Survey revealed that only 27% of 18-24-year-olds reported binge drinking, compared to 44% in 2001. Additionally, the number of people drinking alcohol daily has gradually declined, from 9.1% in 2004 to 5.2% in 2022-23.

Increased social engagements and celebrations during the summertime might mean you're exposed to more alcohol. Long, sunny days surrounded by friends sipping cocktails and sharing beers at barbecues can be challenging if you're in your first year of sobriety or trying to be alcohol-conscious.

We might have a certain image in our minds of what alcoholism looks like, but the truth is, it can come in many different forms. According to Dr Antonia Saunokonoko, a Sydney-based psychotherapist specialising in treating alcoholism, eating disorders, and addictions, alcoholism is generally defined as drinking regardless of the consequences. "Alcoholism is in the person, not the bottle," Dr. Saunokonoko explains. "It isn't defined by the amount, frequency, or pattern of drinking. It’s characterised by the social, emotional, educational, work, health, and other consequences that arise as a result of drinking." She adds, "In an alcoholic, these consequences worsen over time, but an alcoholic will continue drinking regardless. Alcoholism has a way of twisting and hiding the fact that alcohol is the cause of these problems."

No matter where you are with your relationship with alcohol, it's worth taking a step back and evaluating whether you're dealing with alcoholism, or whether you could just benefit from cutting down on drinking. Once you understand your relationship with it, you’ll have a clearer idea of how to navigate your next steps, whether that’s moderation, seeking support from your community, or professional help.

So, how can you best tackle summer socialising without a drink in your hand? “For a non-alcoholic who wants to cut back on their drinking, I’d suggest focusing more on doing activities to have fun and less on drinking to have fun,” says Dr Saunokonoko. “If you stop and look around, you’ll notice that many people don’t drink alcohol in order to have a good time. You can sunbathe, go clubbing, barbeque, play in the park, take the children on outings, all without alcohol, if you’re willing to try. Why not experiment and see if you prefer life with less alcohol in your system?”

However, she continues, “For an alcoholic, any time can be a good time to have a drink. The summer or the holidays don’t throw up any additional challenges. The challenge is ongoing: how to live life comfortably in one’s own skin, without the need to alter one’s mood with alcohol. An alcoholic looking to get and stay sober will need to make changes to the way they’ve learned to do life. Learning to live without alcohol requires changing people, places and things. If nothing changes, nothing changes. But the result of getting sober can be a wonderful new way of living that is stable, fun and rewarding. My suggestion is to explore a 12-step programme, such as Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is the expert in helping people understand, resolve and move beyond alcoholism.”

Excessive drinking is often a response to a dysregulated nervous system, used as a crutch when someone struggling with substances faces emotional overwhelm. Since alcohol is used to calm themselves, Dr. Saunokonoko’s advice for avoiding triggers that lead to drinking involves, "finding ways to create a calm life, as well as engaging in activities that soothe the nervous system without resorting to chemicals or addictive behaviors. Therapy is helpful, yoga and meditation are wonderful, and so is moderate exercise, but most important of all is connecting with people in whom you can confide honestly.”

Connection, honesty, and vulnerability are essential tools while traversing this journey. You might fear that staying sober will leave you isolated or left out, but according to Dr. Saunokonoko, it helps to find your tribe. "If you’re trying to get sober, stick with others trying to do the same thing," she suggests. "Recovery from alcoholism is rarely possible in isolation. Alcoholism is not a reflection of how clever, capable, or independent you are. Alcoholism is rooted in the hard-wiring of the brain. Connection is the antidote to alcoholism. Start by asking for help from an addiction expert and take it day by day.”

“Just because you’re sober doesn't mean you can’t enjoy occasions where alcohol is present. All sorts of people don’t drink for all sorts of reasons. Once you decide not to drink, you’ll start to notice that many other people are doing the same. Some people drink at weddings, birthdays, and bar mitzvahs, but many people don’t. It’s okay to give yourself permission to do what’s right for you.”

If you are struggling with addiction, there is help available. You can call Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 and the Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADF) Helpline on 1300 85 85 84.

In New Zealand, you can call the Alcohol Drug Helpline on 0800 787 797 or Lifeline New Zealand on 0800 543 354.

Dr Antonia Saunokonoko is a psychotherapist in private practice, based in Sydney, who specialises in treating alcoholism, eating disorders and all addictions. She has helped many people find recovery and build happier lives. She has been published in academic, professional and mainstream media. Read more at www.sydneytherapy.com.au.